Nov 19, 2009
In this stunning non-conclusion, Bella and Edward both manage not to kill themselves, return to Forks, and everything is as if this book never happened. If only.
We also learn why Edward and Bella love each other: She smells like the perfect ham sandwich to him.
Nov 11, 2009
In part 2, our boys discover that teenage guys are just moody werewolves, Alice still has great hair, and cliff diving and trips to Italy are both viable options for suicide.
Nov 4, 2009
In their (less than) triumphant return to the Twilight series, our boys groan their way through the first third of New Moon. The only good news to be found is that Bella wants to sleep with a large puppy dog.