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Read it and Weep

Aug 30, 2017

It's time to say goodbye to Wet Month, so we decided to mix it up a bit by freezing to make an ice rink... and then putting hot boys on it so everybody else can get wet and stay wet.

Yuri on Ice is a sports anime about two figure skaters who are probably in love. They skate and take baths and skate and...


Aug 23, 2017

It's Red October season and every vessel in the Russian navy has a tag. That's because capitalism is the best and like a person with a full sandwich punch card, the United States is about to get a free sub.

The Hunt for Red October is a really good submarine movie with an incredible cast. And we two people with parents...


Aug 16, 2017

Look, if you're shipwrecked on an island since childhood with just your cousin, then it's okay to have sex, right? That's the premise of The Blue Lagoon, the execution of one filmmaker's cousin-fantasy. Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins are those 14-year-old cousins and they spend most of the movie naked (though...


Aug 10, 2017

Captain Jack Sparrow is back on the high seas with more elaborate set pieces, sexual innuendo, and a drinking problem that is getting less charming and more seriously worrisome. In Pirates of the Caribbean 5: Deadmen Tell No Tales, a zombie franchise stumbles through a convoluted story about pirate ghosts and...


Aug 2, 2017

It's time to get wet and stay wet once again, Meat Suits! Wet Month is back and we're putting on our monoflippers to kick it off in style with the 80s mermaid classic Splash.

Splash follows Tom Hanks and his pervert brother John Candy who can't seem to find love. But Tom meets the woman of his dreams, a naked, mute...