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Read it and Weep

Apr 30, 2014

Imagine the movie Toy Story but without any of the things that made Toy Story good. Instead of likable toys, they're pervy corporate icons and Nazis. Instead of beautiful animation, it's animated by graphing calculators. Instead of a plot, it's just a food puns and farting. That movie you're imagining is

Apr 24, 2014

Over 100 episodes ago, we reviewed this silly little book about a boy who had a particularly vivid dream about heaven that launched a book career for his dad. As the money grab of Heaven Is For Real continues, we have to keep up including their new "major" motion picture.

At 100 minutes, the film feels heavily padded....

Apr 16, 2014

Gozu may be the weirdest movie ever made. It follows a Yakuza member as he tries to find his dead brother who ends up getting birthed, fully grown, out of a hot woman he tries to have sex with.

Here is the face he made when that happened:

I made the same face, but I didn't have as much goo on me at the time.

That's the...

Apr 10, 2014

"God is dead." -Nietzsche. "We don't understand philosophy." -The people who made God's Not Dead.

Nobody will ever accuse the Christian right of owning Hollywood. Especially not when they see religious movies made so clumsily it almost seems an intentional argument against the existence of a benevolent god. God's Not...

Apr 3, 2014

Forever Knight is a TV show about a vampire cop that aired in Canada in the late 80s and early 90s. It's campy, silly, and awful, or in other words, perfect.

Knight stars Geraint Wyn Davies as a police detective in Toronto, except he's also a vampire with a heart of gold and a series of flashbacks built on the set that...