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Read it and Weep

Jan 9, 2012

If you look in the attic, you'll find flowers.  It's true.  But more interestingly, you'll also find four children who are locked in there being slowly poisoned by their mom.  You see, Mom used to be married to her uncle and instead of hobbled British aristocrats, that marriage created adorable, well adjusted blond children.  Grandpa the millionaire correctly identifies this marriage as weird and gross and disowns the lot of them.  No big deal until Uncle Creepo dies mysteriously and Mom wants to win her father's love back so she can be rich.

Grandpa will only love Mom again if the kids pretend they don't exist, so they hide in the attic and suck at escaping.  Eventually, he dies and puts Mom back in the will as long as she promises not to have any kids from her previous marriage.  That's when the kids notice their food tastes more like arsenic than it used to.

It's a pretty creepy concept, but the 80s horror movie passed through so many creative hands, it lands just south of coherent.  Most importantly, the sexual tension between the kids is unsettling.  Oh, and mom somehow gets strangled to death by a wedding dress.