Jun 20, 2013
It turns out, no matter how many shades of grey there are, it's never going to be a colorful story.
As 50 Shades of Darker limped across the finish line, EL James added a couple of little plots to justify writing a third book. A skeezy boss blows up Charlie Tango the helicopter and then lurks in the bushes. But does anybody care? It's hard to, when so many pages are dedicated to Christian lurking in Bella, er, Anna's bushes.
Besides those few pages of excitement, 50 Darker is split evenly. 25 shades are them having sex and 25 shades are them arguing about stupid shit. It's the most dysfunctional relationship since Ronnie & Sammie in the Jersey Shore.
Most importantly, this book has taught us to stick to our guns. If you want us to read the last book, it'll cost you $1,000.