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Read it and Weep

Nov 11, 2011

"Breaking Dawn" is the final book in the Twilight saga by Stephanie Meyer.  Unlike the other books, which focused on Bella and Edward moping around and being all emo about nothing, Meyer opts for batshit crazy this time around.

For the first quarter of the book, "Breaking Dawn" follows the wedding nuptials of Edward Cullen and Bella Swan.  They tell Bella's parents, Alice dresses them up all fancy, they both say "I do" and then!  And then! And then the moment we've been waiting four books for... they bone!  And just like every other climatic moment in the series, Bella passes out for most of it.

The rest of this section is a confusing mess of Bella getting beaten up by Edward during sex, Bella getting pregnant with an alien baby, and then Bella getting beaten up by the alien baby.  If Twilight has one message, it's that Bella needs to be hurt.

Most of this podcast is us just trying to understand all this grossness, only to find that the next section is worse.  Much much worse.