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Read it and Weep

Dec 24, 2012

It's the most wonderful time of the year! Except for summer. And Spring break. And my birthday. It's one of the top five most wonderful times of year!

It's not so wonderful for Santa in Santa Claus Conquers The Martians ,where he is kidnapped by people of Mars (who look like earth people but with green face paint and...

Dec 12, 2012

Surely we must be running out of crappy young adult fantasy books trying to cash in on the success of Harry Potter. This time it's a satanist vicar and a Jamaican kid. What's next? Vampires and werewolves kissing?

Shadowmancer is the story of a couple kids who get roped into fighting against the devil when a beautiful...

Dec 6, 2012

Many people have fond memories of Super Mario Bros. Nobody has fond memories of this early 90s campy movie.

It's like the creators thought the only important part of the game was that the main characters were plumbers. Nothing else is the same. The names have changed, they're not twins anymore, the dinosaurs are people....

Nov 30, 2012

Once you decide to name your movie Death Bed: The Bed That Eats is that you never have to explain the premise to people. "It's a bed, Larry. It eats. How hard is this?"

On the other hand, don't ask anybody to explain why the bed eats people. "Because it's evil, Larry! And hungry."

Such is the plot of the 1977 no-budget...

Nov 21, 2012

IT'S FINALLY OVER!!! I can't tell you how excited I am that the Twilight Saga is over. Okay, I'll tell you. Very. I'm very excited the Twilight Saga is over. So excited I made a cartoon and a rap summarizing Breaking Dawn.

And barring Steph Meyer writing more books or the movies being rebooted or any number of other...